Jeff has a theory that Joe ended up a stray because he failed at being a hunting dog. Joe is not very good at giving up the things that he fetches. He doesn’t like to swim. He would rather get petted than track small animals. But his greatest handicap is that he can’t stand booms and bangs and other loud noises at close range. He does okay during thunderstorms — as long as he’s inside, because he hates getting rained on — but he loathes fireworks. He tries to hide his fear, but he visibly starts whenever he hears one go off. If we’re on a walk, he will turn abruptly and walk briskly toward home. If he’s at home, he’ll move away from the window and lie on the floor.1 But he will always stay near the doorway of whatever room I happen to be in, in case he has to save me. I have no idea where he learned how to do this, but I am proud of him for being both prudent and protective.
People in our neighborhood love shooting off fireworks. They especially like to do it in our alley. This makes Fourth of July weekend a particularly fraught time. We have several methods of coping:
Lots of pets and cuddles and reassurances
A makeshift Thundershirt: I drape my legs over his back while we read in bed or on the couch
CBD calming treats
Tranquilizers prescribed by the vet that were supposed to help Joe handle his anxiety during nail trimmings2
Uncle Roger videos
A sleepover at Grandma’s house, where not as many people shoot off fireworks
Sleepovers at Grandma’s usually work best, probably because they come with ice cream, hot dogs, visits with the neighborhood fan club, and HGTV. Joe quite likes House Hunters and Zillow Gone Wild.
I don’t think Joe is at all ashamed of his hatred of loud noises, but just in case, I’ve been trying to reassure him that lots of other dogs hate loud noises and that doesn’t make them any less brave. They are all good dogs!
Which brings us to…
Dog content of the week
Lately we have been listening to the podcast “The Rest is History” when we walk. It’s a good one for walks because it is full of interesting facts, because the length of one episode (at 1.25 speed) is roughly the length of our favorite walk, and because there is something satisfyingly incongruous about listening to a scholarly disquisition on Martin Luther and the Protestant Reformation while walking past a beach.3
Naturally, when we came across the episode about History’s Greatest Dogs, we had to listen to it. History’s Greatest Dogs are:
Greyfriars Bobby (even though the podcasters thought the story about Bobby waiting faithfully by his human’s grave every night was bunk; they also debated whether Bobby was really a Skye terrier or a Dandie Dinmont)
Blondi (and her puppies)
Gelert (a tragic tale that I hope is more of a fable than actual history)
Looty (a representative of the tastelessness of the British Empire)
Rin Tin Tin (who allegedly won the first Best Actor Oscar until they changed the rule and decided it could only go to humans; this is totally unfair, especially because the original Rin Tin Tin was a marvelous actor who did all his own stunts)
JOE!!!!4
I went back and forth about how much of these stories I should share with Joe. I reassured him that I would never test a cyanide capsule on him (as Hitler did with Blondi and then he was surprised that she died!) and that if I thought he had committed a crime, I would investigate before punishing him and that his punishment would never be execution (poor Gelert!). But we discussed Bounce a lot.
If you are unfamiliar5, Bounce was the dog who accompanied Cuthbert Collingwood to sea during the Napoleonic Wars. Collingwood was second-in-command at the Battle of Trafalgar, and Bounce was there, too. He was in the cabin during the planning of the battle and no doubt made some wise strategic contributions, but during the battle itself (and the other battles Collingwood fought in) he stayed in the hold because the noises of the cannons bothered him. But Bounce was still a good and brave boy. Collingwood wrote about him a lot in letters home and in official documents, including this, after they were elevated to the peerage:
I am out of all patience with Bounce. The consequential airs he gives himself since he became a right honourable dog are insufferable. He considers it beneath his dignity to play with commoners’ dogs, and truly thinks that he does them grace when he condescends to lift his leg against them. This, I think, is carrying the insolence of rank to the extreme, but he is a dog that does it.
This, and not dislike of cannon fire, is a reason to disapprove of Bounce.
Collingwood also sang Bounce his own special lullaby, which I guess is not really notable because many people who love their dogs do this. But it is unusual to see in British naval history.
Anyway, Joe and I talked about Bounce a lot this weekend. I don’t know if it helped him feel better, but we did hope that there was a nice human or dog down in the hold with Bounce to keep him company while he was freaking out during those sea battles.
Now Fourth of July madness is over for another year and I hope Joe’s trauma will fade over the next few days.
How does your dog deal with their fears? We welcome suggestions only, not criticism.
This is also a good thing to do when a tornado is coming.
They don’t work.
Any mention of Martin Luther and his 95 Theses makes me want to bang rhythmically on a lectern in honor of my high school European history teacher Mr. Mattucci who used this as a mnemonic device to remind us that Luther nailed his theses onto the church door. BUT I was scandalized to learn that he might not have actually done this! I felt betrayed. My education was a lie!
My addition to the list.
As I was before hearing this podcast
Our Dexter spent most of the 4th either trying to paw me or under my feet, after the tranquilizer helped. The Ace trank I use requires giving it a couple of hours before the noise starts, so it's tricky to judge. It does work to calm some. I wish the boom folks would observe some decent times, though!